Aspects of Her Life

            You don’t notice, but she’s sitting there, at the stiff desk the schools supply, flipping pages in a notebook filled with words, changing her story. Her mind is cluttered with thoughts but she can’t seem to put them down on paper. She gives herself a phrase, thinks, knows how to say it in her mind and hopes she can portray her honest thoughts on the paper, the same paper that’s in your hot little hands.

            She loves this kid, has loved him, will love him and she doesn’t care about the negative opinions from his and her friends both, that constantly surround them. They lasted two years and will continue to last decades, and she wouldn’t give him up, not even for an “A” in Pre-Calculus. They met when she was a freshman, and he was a junior and they made each other priorities. She’s a junior now, and he graduated last year, their friends often tell them they act like a married couple. They wouldn’t have it any other way

            She tries to be successful in life, do well in her classes, help friends, and be happy. Time will tell how successful this girl will be. A report card will show how well she did in her classes. Her friends are curious to see if she will still be there in the future. However her happiness cannot be simply shown, that smile; it’s a lie, holding her up day by day, making her appear strong when she’s weak.

            She wonders why people act the way they do. Why do people hurt others that they love? Why are people content with lies told by liars? Why will someone go out of their way to hurt someone else? Well she’s beginning to understand the answers. People are afraid of getting hurt first, so they act in fear and hurt the other person before they get the chance. People believe liars because they want what they are saying to be true. People that go out of their way to hurt someone are uncomfortable in their own skin and they are pathetic enough to make someone feel as bad as they do.

            She doesn’t understand why she’s there for people she cares about but at the end of the day they don’t care for her. “I’m strong for those that I love when they are weak. But when I am weak, there is no one there to be strong for me.”

            She sees every imperfection, every flaw, everything that’s wrong with her. She’s disgusted, she’s unhappy, but she smiles like everything is fine because one weak person could easily bring the strong ones down. She knows that. She doesn’t want to be the reason someone is down.

            She appears fierce and strong but inside she’s timid, terrified of her next move. She’s scared to make one wrong step. Someday the life that she’s comfortable with will be taken away. She’ll be left with only a memory and with the memories that she’s making, she’ll long for the real deal.

            She wants so much in life. Her career choice is a neonatal nurse, she wishes for a family, she desires that perfect suburban housewife story. She wants happiness at the end of the day, when she’s laying in bed thinking of what happened and what she could have done differently if she had given it more thought.

            She hopes you enjoyed the trip and the honest thoughts.

A Day in the Life of Greedy

There she is, she wants money, diamonds, something worth anything and anything that's worth something. Greedy wants every male's attention, any human's praise; she "needs" anything she can get her hands on. She always hits up Generosity for cash and gets the best of Hospitality.
Greedy always takes and gives nothing in return; everything is hers in the world she looks at through those crazy eyes. Generosity and Hospitality can't help but give in. Greedy's common phrases are "Give me!" or "Mine, mine mine!" when she is around Generosity and Hospitality. Impatient and Anger always have the name "Greedy" in their mouths, shaking their fists in frustration about how selfish and needy that poor, rich girl is. "If only she could pause and realize what she already has." Common Sense says to Patient under her breath. Patient is leaning on Impatient lately because he can only take so much of Greedy, being Greedy.
She is always wanting what she can't have or more than anybody needs. That girls needs a reality check. "Didn't her mother and father teach her that material things aren't what's important?" says Caring who only wants the best for Greedy even though she's a nasty little thing. No one would ever look at Greedy with sparkling admiration; no one would have the desire to be as "great" as her! She's nothing but a needy little sucker, a rotten character, and all she does is want.
Greedy snatched up what the less fortunate did have, all for herself. She got her hands on anything she could and ended herself up in a mess of credit card debts, a house full of stuff, just stuff that she doesn't need. No friends in sight, just acquaintances that don't appreciate her one bit.
A day doesn't got by where she doesn't wrap her fingers around something insignificant to her.
A day doesn't go by where other characters don't gossip behind her back about her actions.
A day doesn't go by when Greedy isn't left at the end of the day with nothing. everything with feet is gone, they walked out on her. She's left in a house filled with countless material things and the occupied space only feels empty.

CNF; Summ-ahh

In the summer, the homework flow stops, the stiff plastic seats seize to make my butt numb, and the emotional school meltdowns no longer faze me. 

Sunscreen? Check. Swimsuits? Check. Towels? Check. I'm ready for my summer job. I'm stoked for the sunburns, smells of chlorine, and the awkward one-piece tans. It's time to make money, befriend co-workers, teach swim lessons and scream, "Walk on the pool deck!"

I scan my designated area; the cement sizzling with every splash of water like a hot skillet has my attention until I see signs of a drowning victim. The meltdown begins: hands sweaty and feet suddenly scared to move. My training, gone.

I blow my whistle once, point to the victim and enter the water. I swim with high elbows, the tube under my arms and grab the drowning boy, struggling, I swim to safety. Isn't summer supposed to be stress free? 

CNF; What's In a Name? Alt. Prompt

Katrina. 
Rebecca Foster named her daughter Katrina. Not after anyone, not inspired by anything, just simply because she "Liked it." Katrina remembers hearing stories about her grandma wanting the name Katharine but Rebecca didn't want her daughter to be nicknamed Kathy. The idea went down like when a fly gets hit by an electric fly swatter. There aren't any back-stories to Katrina that are known to her family but the name soon became famous in 2005. The costly natural disaster to happen to the United States...Hurricane Katrina will forever haunt all Katrina’s. When Hurricane Katrina was discussed in class, every pair of eyes would shift and peek at Katrina just because her name was mentioned across the news, worldwide. She always seemed to scoot lower in her seat with every glace she saw. She never failed to think, "Turn around morons, you're making this awkward." 
Google Search: Katrina always follows "Hurricane"
Urban Dictionary search: "Crazy-assed bitch. When she first arrives, she's wet and wild. When she leaves, she takes the house, car and everything else in a 100-mile radius 
Meaning of "Katrina": "Pure"

Foster. 
Katrina is often referred to by her last name, more times than other "baby" is attached. She never hated nor loved being called "Baby Foster" She heard it enough from her co-workers, older brother's friends, coaches, and teammates, to brush it off. 
Google search: Foster's Beer, Foster Farms, and Foster’s Freeze
Urban Dictionary search: Hipster, sexy, appealing, sleeps a lot

If Katrina was given the opportunity to change her name she wouldn't. She can't even imagine what she would change it to. It isn't a hard name to spell or say, therefore if someone messes it up, it's clear they don't know enough about the world.

CNF; A Picture is Worth 516 Words

            Here my brothers are with each other, John in his dinosaur costume awkwardly holding Robbie in the pumpkin costume. Looking at them now you’d never believe they had a close relationship. But looking at this picture makes me remember how close they used to be.  It’s 1996, Robbie’s first Halloween, I had to ask my mom and she remembers it like it happened yesterday.

            Robbie is four months old, he’ll never remember being in the hospital, going through so many tests, being a premature baby and barely surviving. He won’t remember this picture being taken, showing his chubby cheeks that he didn’t have when he was born because he was barely 6 pounds. His pale skin; I find shocking to see compared to how tan John is, and his huge eyes stare past my mom who is taking the picture. John is five, showing his toothy grin, his pin straight dark hair is poking out of the dinosaur costume hood. John will remember what it’s like being an only child and we’ll all remember how happy he was when I, his first sibling was born. He was grabbing random people in the hospital yelling at them, “Come see my new, beautiful baby sister!” John is holding Robbie nervously but proudly, he loved being an older brother, now looking at him you would never think that he felt that way.

            John’s hair will be curly and we will all look so much alike. But John will have a quiet personality and it will seem as if he doesn’t care about family. He focuses on school and work more than people just like Dad. He’ll follow in Dad’s footsteps by going to Stanislaus and in the summer he’ll be the best boss ever, I would know considering he’ll be mine. John will be protective of me someday and funny, sometimes. While he’s in his third year of college we’ll try and gain that brother-sister relationship, by then it will be really hard to accomplish because the distance will get in the way.

            Robbie will be babied all his life. He’ll have life easy except when he’s expected to live up to John and I. John and I try ridiculously hard in school to please Mom and Dad, Robbie doesn’t care if they are happy about it or not. Robbie and I become close after John leaves for college because his best friend and video gaming partner left. When John comes home they just fight because John never stops picking on him. Robbie will always be really skinny and he will hate it! He’ll be really funny and he’ll become one of my best friends. He won’t really care for anyone at first but later in life he’ll start being more sensitive and loving.

            It’s crazy when I look at the pictures and see us all together with genuine smiles on our faces. Now mom has to beg us to all take a “happy” picture together. We still love each other but things change rather quickly.

CNF Starting Phrase (Alt.Prompt); Honesty at Its Finest

I remember... Song lyrics and phone numbers but I can't remember vocabulary words or math equations.
I don't remember... What day it is, or what happened last week.
I have always... Tried to do my best, and to be as great as my perfect, over-achieving a**hole of an older brother.
I see... Girls pretending to be stupid to gain the attention of boys. They are the ones flipping their hair around and saying "whaaaaaatt?" in that annoying high pitched tone. Attention wh*res. 

I don't... Do my homework until last minute because I'm lazy. That's why I'm typing this very essay at 6 A.M.
I don't see... Enough happy people in this world. So smile, b*tches.
I don't know... Why people in my English 3 class can't read properly.
I want to... Go on vacation and eventually come back to "the most boring place in the world: Orangevale"
I wonder... Why I told Tayler Hamilton that I would wear this stupid flamingo hat for Wacky Hat Day, I look like an idiot.
I don't wonder... If people will ever use common sense because I know the answer is no.
I don't want to... Die.
I hate... When that one student raises their hand every five seconds to add on to what the teacher says just to show they know the curriculum. Well guess what kid!? You don't know jack sh*t because you're in this class, so you're not as smart as you think. Shut up.
I love... Very few people, most people just piss me off.
I try to... Be the best, I'm succeeding.
I try not to... Make people sad.
I'm done.

CNF Dialogue: Workin' at the Pool

           It is 9:30 in the morning. I'm driving, already late to work, trying not to speed through the parking lot. In my head I can picture my manager, Larissa Clark saying, "Turn your music down and drive slowly through the parking lot!" When I eventually pull up to my shaded parking spot, I jump out of my Rav4 and grab my towel, keys, extra clothes, water and my wallet. I hurl the lobby door open and proceed to knock on the office door that is always locked. I can already hear Larissa being a mom, "Remember to put on your sunscreen everyone!" Tyler Cannon continues to be lazy, "Someone cover my public shift today, I am already tired!" Amelia Helland wanting peace and love is screaming nervously, "Everyone just please be happy..." Then John Foster, "Get the hell out of my office and set up!" Silence fills the humid room, no one wants to get the work day started. "Let's go!" His strict loud voice frightens everyone, but John is in charge and no one will ever question his authority. Our staff shuffles at a snail's pace out the door. The burden of setting up falls on the shoulders of morning swim instructors, it is a joy...
          After we set up, we are assigned our classes, I have all "baby" classes. A 10:10 A.M Guppy class that ranges in age from 1-5. A 10:45 A.M Frog class that is a mommy and me class. A 11:20 A.M Minnow class, that ranges in age from 3-6. Another Guppy class at 11:55 and to finish morning lessons I have a 12:30 private lesson with a 3 year old girl. Young classes require patience or love for children, I have the love for children, but no patience at all. Usually, no one is satisfied with the classes they get. Majority of the boys on our staff are complaining to Larissa: "I don't want a baby class." Or "Girls hate me because I'm a guy; I need older classes like Sharks or Dolphins." While the girls are saying, "Larissa! I wanted Phoenix, he's cute!" Or "Can I have all guppy classes, they are adorable?!"
         Once everyone is done complaining about their classes that they know Larissa won't change, Larissa then makes her introduction to the parents and swimmers of the new session of swim lessons. "Hi, I'm Larissa Clark the manager here at the Orangevale pool; I just wanted to welcome you all to the fifth session of swim lessons..." Every instructor is lined up, in our colorful swim suits, on the gutter of the pool, with smiles plastered on our faces. We all mouth the words along with Larissa because we've heard this introduction numerous times. Then it's our turn, I hear Amelia call her lessons, "Hi, I'm Amelia and I have the Frog class!" She then lists the kids in her class and now it's my turn. "Hi everyone, I'm Katrina and I'll be teaching Guppies this session!" I name my swimmers on my roster, every single child is crying in fear and we haven't touched the water yet. This is the start to my day at work, I'm ecstatic...

CNF: Nostalgia

When I look back on my life I remember specific things. My first memory is when my baby brother spoke his own language that only I could interpret; mom and dad always came looking for me when he started talking. When we were looking for houses to move into in Sacramento, I remember wanting nothing more than to sit on the couch because my 4 year old feet were worn out. In November of second grade, when we took our family vacation to Disneyland, the only thing on my mind was lying down especially after experiencing Space Mountain for the first and only time. In third grade my aunt took my brothers and I to a beach, I remember we shivered more than we basked in the sun. I realized how much I loved the sea salt wind when it was blowing my hair every direction. What I remember most about the early years of elementary school were my two very best friends, Chrissy Camilleri and Alexandria Valdez. Through the birthday parties, sleepovers and the depressing change of schools we became sisters. Swim team, swimming my first 100 yard race. "85% on the first 25 yards, 90% on the 50, give 100% on the 75, and everything you have on that final spring." That's what ran through my head in my older brother's stern voice as I hopped on the block. Twenty push-ups after the exhausting races because I took a breath coming off the wall or before my flip. Pasteur Middle School, the only sense of preparing for school was pulling on my pants and slipping on my shirt, I loved uniforms because it made it easy to get going in the morning. Casa Roble, full grown "boys" in the same classes as baby freshman. Homecoming; dresses, shoes, jewelry, hair, make up, pictures, dinner, date. I miss the memories that made me smile. I miss the memories that made my throat close and tears well up in my eyes. I will always have a strong longing for my future.

CNF; Dear 12-year-old self,

Do you realize how moronic you are acting? You're putting mom and dad through hell and putting more stress on your big brother that he doesn't need. John's a junior, he is figuring out what he wants to do after high school and you are making him want to move further and further away every time you freak out and cause family drama. You are teaching Robbie, only 10 years old, that this disgusting behavior comes with no consequences.
You need to buckle down and stop fighting anything and everything. Life will be easier when you sit back and relax. Open your eyes to reality; the world isn't as forgiving as your parents are.
You'll realize in a couple years that all of the pain and suffering that you brought upon yourself and your family wasn't worth it. You'll be comfortable with yourself. You'll be friends with mom and dad. You'll want that relationship with John that you ruined. You won't fight just to fight. You will listen, you will love and be loved. You'll be a great example to Robbie. You'll have a strong understanding of your life. Mom and dad will be proud of you. Your friends will always be there for you. You will tell the truth how it is and people will respect you for it. You will have your priorities straight. You will be happy.
You will make many mistakes in life. Always own up to them, stay positive but most of all learn from those mistakes.

CNF; Growing is Forever

I want to feel weightless and live for eternity. I am alive. I am different. I am strong. I am still growing, physically and mentally. I'm learning things about myself and others everyday. 
I've learned I'm not nearly as strong as I think I am. I put a smile on my face and let others believe everything is okay because I'm afraid of being weak. 
Others have showed me that you can't always depend on someone. Sometimes you have to be alone in order to find out what you really want in life. 
What I want to do with myself has changed. I now not only want to be happy but I will now strive for happiness.

Eyes Wide Open

Technology will be the end of me. Imagining a world without my phone. Texting makes people awkward. When anyone texts someone to start "talking", they end up being awkward in person. I would have such a hard time going through my day without my phone. When I'm bored I go on Facebook or text someone. When I'm in an awkward situation I play on my phone. When I walk past a group of people by myself I text/pretend to text someone. When I don't know how to spell something I type it out on my phone for an auto correction. I take advantage of this technology, I cannot imagine what live would be like without it. That'd be interesting and a horrible day without my phone, it's disgusting how attached I am to it. I've realized how obsessed to this object I have become.

These Memories Will Never Fade

Why I Write?

I write to get it all out, my anger, my frustration, all of it on paper so it"s out of my mind. Writing to me is like talking to my best friend without sugar coating the situation or censoring how I really feel. I write to relax, to talk when no one is there to listen because sometimes "paper is the best listener." Even though I know people are just a phone call away I still rely on writing or typing. I write to change what "can't" be changed, because I can change everything and anything in my head. Writing about something that angers or irritates me is like the feeling of b*tching out someone who you hate and feeling the awesomeness of it being off your chest. I write even though I'm not comfortable with someone reading what I write. I hope that someday I'll be brave enough to share all of my feelings with no censorship. Never being asked why I write and being able to talk about it so easily makes me realize my love for writing.